A Portrait of Paradox

Things have been busy this time of year. Especially busy. David and I flew to New York for our friend Amie's memorial service. We have some friends who live in Brooklyn, so with only a few days notice, we were somehow able to pull the trip together. We took Lila and our friends were so gracious to host us for a few nights. We were really glad that we could support our dear friend Paul and realized that without having gone it would be so easy to not really grasp the reality of Amie's death. It is so very sad.

With the weekend behind us, I must say my thoughts have wandered to what a paradox this trip was. While the purpose of it was to mourn the loss of our friend, we also were in New York City, so we certainly wanted to see a few sights. We were able to sneak about six hours of touring in. We walked the Brooklyn Bridge, saw Ground Zero, rode the Staten Island Ferry, and even snuck in a date to a fun restaraunt in Brooklyn without Lila. We had such a fabulous time. As I have thought about this weekend, i am still struck by the paradox of what our weekend was like and what our friends' was like. David and I enjoyed a great bonding time with our little baby who toured with us, soaked up the city, and enjoyed a little alone time! Meanwhile, Paul and Amie lost their little girl and Paul eventually lost Amie too within just a few short months! Our joy, their pain. I must say no one is without their own pains; we too have had our own trials. It just happens that this is one of those times in life when someone else's pain is so very real and somehow intertwined in our lives just enough to really hurt and show such profound differences.

We grieve for our friend and hurt for Paul's loss. We take heart in Christ's return as He will make ALL things right again!

In Memory

Below is a lovely tribute to our dear friend Amie Vertucci along with a poem written by one of her friends. She lived a beautiful and short life and will be remembered by many. I don't know that David or I can say much now, so these are the words we'll share with you.

Amie
There are some people
we are meant to gently,
but deeply, ponder,
even meditate on.

They aren't the ones with
the boisterous charisma
of the sunflower.

Nor do they have
the fluffy elegance of
the peony. Rather,

they are one of those
more subtle flowers
with an exotic name

and an ironic simplicity
which is the thing that
draws you in - at first;

then as you get closer,
its unspoiled, delicate beauty
captures and holds you there -

that unique and truest beauty
which suddenly you realize
satisfies all you've been looking for
in a flower.

It's one of the many miracles,
the glorious mysteries of God,
how you came to look and be

more like Him than ever
now, when death and disease
has tried its power on you -

it's tried to crush you,
and you've felt the weight.
But what you didn't know

is when you merely arise
to another day, carrying a load
we can't take off of you,

the light inside you -
how you love, how you cherish
every company you are in -

shines more brightly now,
showing us even more clearly,
more beautifully,

the precious, rare gems
of which you are made.
-Virginia Hart Pike

Amie Lee Vi Matulac Vertucci was born on March 17, 1975 in Mlang, Cotobato, Philippines, and died today, Thursday, October 9, 2008, at 12:10 pm, at the age of 33, in Columbus, Ohio. Amie is loved by so many, most of all by myself, by her Mom, Ledelia, by her brother, Allen Val, and by so many relatives and friends, many of whom knew and called her by her childhood nickname, Sunshine. She was with family and friends today, and we sang hymns, spoke softly to her, and prayed as she took her final breath.

Amie and I were married on April 7, 2001, in Queens, New York. We lived in Brooklyn for a year, then Staten island for one year. For the past five years, we've lived in the Columbus area, the last two and a half years of that time in Hilliard, Ohio, a suburb of Columbus.

In March of this year, we happily learned that Amie was pregnant. In July, she delivered our daughter, Bianca Hope, prematurely at nearly five months of pregnancy. At the same time, she was diagnosed with stage IV stomach cancer, which eventually took her life.

She loved people, loved to worship, and to serve the Lord and her brothers and sisters. In some way, each of you experienced that love, which was and is Christ's love in her.

There is so much more to say, and we will celebrate her life, and worship the Lord, at two separate memorial services, first in Columbus and then in New York City. There will be no public viewing, as was her wish. Details of the memorial services will follow shortly.

In Love,
Paul

Blankie Bondage

It is true...we are in bondage to blankets in the Juelfs home. If you have met Wyatt, you have met Stripey! If you have met Addie Grace, you have most likely met Pinkerton. If you have met Lila, you have probably thought, "God, help her...don't let her parents give her a blanket!" Well, sorry we did. Pinkerton II. That's right, it is Pinkerton the second. How exactly does one end up in bondage to a blanket?

Kid 1 Strategy - buy a lot of the same textured blanket with different prints...curse a lot when kid 1 picks a favorite print...stripes! Search America for another, but it's too late! Enter ... bondage to launder this damn blanket and have it dry by nap!

Kid 2 Strategy - buy two of the same blanket! Check...we got that one right! Don't let kid 2 carry blanket around the house. Mom turns sucker when kid 2 turns whiny! Who wouldn't? More bondage!

Kid 3 Strategy - think about not letting kid 3 have a blanket, but cave before experts even say it is safe to have blankets in the crib. Think about buying a second blanket for kid 3 as to avoid the problem with kid 1 and loathe my laziness for not picking one up! Add blanket to my list for target purchases when mom leaves kid 3's blanket at friend's house 30 minutes away! Loathe mom laziness once again on hour adventure to retrieve blanket that I am once again in bondage to!

And here is where the story turns south (as if it hasn't yet)! I finally went to Target today in search of Lila's Pinkerton II, literally as this will be her second blanket so I don't have to endure laundry drama. As we near the baby section I started thinking...it sure would suck if I can't get this exact texture and pattern. Naturally, you should expect more to this story. So, i found the same texture but not the same pattern. I also thought it was pricey for a backup blanket and there was a slightly different fleece texture on a cheaper blanket, so I decided to save a penny and go the cheaper route. Tonight, I laid Lila down with the new blanket and she fussed off and on for an hour. Thank goodness that was long enough for me to get the real Pinkerton II washed. I switched it out and she literally breathed a sigh of relief when I put her down with the old blanket. So, now I am going to have to go back to kid 1 strategy even though it failed and buy two blankets with the same texture and different patters. Let's hope she is less picky than Mr. Particular Wyatt James Juelfs!

Good Riddens! You think I would learn after the third child, but they are all such great sleepers that I think it is worth any amount of bondage I must endure for a blanket!

Girls, Girls, Girls

So as a parent of both girls and boys, I have observed a few differences. They may not hold up for everyone, but here is one we see everyday. Girls just like to talk! Don't get me wrong, Wyatt sure talks a lot! Addie Grace started speaking sentences at sbout eighteen months. As soon as we moved to California, she just took off speaking. I think I've mentioned before that she constantly surprises us. We did at first think that she was just a little mockingbird, but in time we are certain she is just her daddy's girl and has something to say about everything! She makes comments now (much to her parents dismay) like "that's not fair" with arms folded and a pouted face and "i don't want to" when asked to obey! The other night, David was telling the kids a story about lizards. He was making the whole thing up as he went about lizards with magic potions shrinking the kids so they could join the lizards in their homes. I know ... it sounds a bit weird, but the kids loved it. Later that night, Addie David and I found Addie Grace retelling this same story to her baby Janie that she had heard only once. She is so funny! The girl is turning two in a few weeks and sometimes I think she is going on five! I can't wait to see what Lila has to say!

The Reverend Daddy

Last Saturday, David went up for ordination before the South Coast Presbytery. (Someone sent us this picture where David is preaching before the group of men.) He was received quite well and passed his written and oral examinations! The presbytery was very affirming in his preaching and found our daddy fit to be a Reverend! Wyatt inquired upon hearing this great news, "Daddy, does this mean you don't ever have to go to school again?" To which I replied, "Never again!" Of coarse in Wyatt's mind, he thinks David can now stay at home and play all day with him! We are so happy for you David! Congratulations!